This week I had a revelation: all my life I've been focusing on how being fat disables me. "Oh, I can't get the guy I want because he thinks I'm too fat!" "Oh, I can't go clothes shopping with X, because I won't be able to fit into anything but socks!" "Oh, woe is me!!!!"
But in order to feel better about myself, in order to become the new happy, healthy, beautiful me, shouldn't I flip this kind of thinking around? In other words, how does my fat empower me? What does it give me that I wouldn't have as a skinny woman? I'm not going to lie; my first thought definitely turned to my lovely ladies (which are by definition fat). But once I had managed to pull my mind out of the gutter I quickly realized what I also have in abundance: SKIN!!! This is the one lasting beauty change I could make that's bound to make people stop and say "Wow," if for no other reason than that I have so goddamn much of it!
To be perfectly honest, I had a little help with this epiphany. Last week I got a facial in preparation for the aforementioned photo shoot. I didn't put too much thought into it, to be honest. I just went on my new favorite website for discount beauty services/products, Lifebooker.com, found someone who was offering a discount, and booked a facial.
When the ladies in the salon complimented me on how beautiful I looked after the facial I smiled, but chalked it up to them trying to turn me into a repeat customer. When the woman who did my makeup the day after complimented me on my beautiful skin, I figured it was just because she had a close-up view of the post-facial me. When the photographer thanked her lucky stars that she wouldn't have to spend too much time on Photoshop fixing the blemishes in my skin, I thought the same thing. When two drunks on the side of the road complimented me ... you get the idea. But when a good friend and even a fat-phobic colleague complimented me on how nice I suddenly looked, even though I had made no other change, it really hit me: my extra skin is an asset, not a disability!!!!
Basically, all this is to say that I've decided the first step to a new, beautiful me is taking better care of my skin. So, starting with the next post, I'm going to kick off this blog for real with a post on my new, improved skin care regimen, as well as a few before and after photos (yikes!). Hope you're as excited about it as I am!